By the time I was 12, the man I shared blood with—my real father—was murdered over the very drugs he once made me sell my toys for. Back home, I was told he ‘deserved it.’
In a world that cold, you learn to build your own heat.
From age 12 to 15, I was a ghost in Millville. I stayed out until 10 PM stealing food because our fridge was empty. I played baseball just to feel like a normal kid, but the bleachers were always empty—my parents never made it to a single game. So, I built my own world. I stole wood from construction sites and built a clubhouse in the backyard—a place where I finally felt in charge.
My mom and my siblings loved me, but I was always treated differently. My stepfather was Italian, and my brothers were his ‘real’ children. I was the outsider. I was the one who took the hits, while my brothers lived for free. And it wasn’t just the hitting—my sister carried the weight of things no young girl should ever have to face from a man in her own home.
By 15, I stopped being the kid and started being the provider. I started selling marijuana so I could have shoes on my feet and clothes for school. I was a waiter at 17, handing over cash to my parents for their cigarettes and paying rent to a man who looked at me like a stranger.
I graduated with a 3.2 GPA not because I had help, but because I was the only one in that house who cared if I lived or died. I was a man in training. And at 18, the training was over. The day was coming when I would finally stop watching and start acting.
Sometimes we have to grow up before our time just to survive. What was the first ‘adult’ responsibility you ever had to take on? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
Wow, great story and question. I also had to sell drugs for food and clothing because of my parents divorce at ten years old. But with selling drugs came addiction and Biggie said never get high on your own supply and that’s a hard pill to swallow no pun intended. But I was a drug addict since the age of 25 until 42. But thank God I chose recovery and life and today Feb 28th im 50 and have been clean for 8 years because of a drug and alcohol addiction program. So selling drugs for food, clothing and bills was my first responsibility I had to take on.
Frank, first off, a massive congratulations on 8 years clean today! That is the ultimate hustle—choosing recovery and life every single day.
Thank you for being so open about your journey. It’s a heavy reality when survival and ‘the hustle’ start at such a young age due to circumstances like your parents’ divorce, but seeing where you are at 50 is incredibly inspiring. You’re living proof that the same drive used to survive the streets can be used to build a beautiful, clean life.
I’m glad that long message finally made it through—your story adds so much value to this conversation!